Dear Depressed Self,
Life is one tiresome battle wherein you must always dig deep in yourself to be able to slay one monstrous obstacle after another. At times you get waylaid, you fall down on our knees, you stumble, you get hurt. The pain is excruciating, and so is the exasperation of trying to overcome the excruciating pain. Life is no walk in the park. Life can be one mean ride. Life, you realize, is not perfect.
Your life is topsy-turvy right now and accelerating at a pace you couldn’t get a grip on. Your vision is clouded and you are misjudging your reality. Worst, you are wallowing in misery. You are tired, and very weak. On the horizon, the dark clouds are coming, enlivened by the prospect of sucking the life out of you.
The dark clouds are blurring your vision, confusing your reality, making you even weaker. But please, keep holding on, keep battling in spite of the odds. Don’t let the darkness shackle you to the ground. Your body is weak. Your mind is weak. Your soul is weak. You are shaking. You are beyond your breaking point. You are shivering inside from fear, frustration, and worst, depression. Giving up is the best option because you see the battle is beyond you.
But pause for a while. Please just stop for a while, and breathe, take in a gasp of air. Inhale the beauty of your surrounding. Appreciate the beauty surrounding you. Look at that pretty flower in the middle of the busy street. It is beautiful but it is quite absurd how it is thriving amidst a quotidian but cataclysmic existence. Though stuck in the middle of a garish street, it is very much alive, full of color and of beauty.
Remember the babies you once carried on your arms? You used to sit for them, rocking them gently to sleep or just simply playing with them. Their innocent smiles lights up your mundane existence. You love the feel of their gentle skin on your naked arms. You like how they careen on your shoulders, on your sturdy arms for support. The rambunctious cries you try to pacify are but reminders of how alive they are.
That is what you are too, you are ALIVE, and don’t you dare forget that! You are breathing, you are kicking, you are battling. Life is tedious and it doesn’t always favor you. At times, the tides go against you. The sentiments flood you, and will you. But swim, learn to swim against the currents, those thunderous currents that are taking you to the midst of a fatuous existence.
Life is one arid colossal desert. But somewhere in that desert, the fountain of hope springs eternal. You just have to muster the strength and the courage to carry on no matter how parched your tongue is. One valiant effort can take you to glories and beyond. But first, find the that fountain of hope and strength within you. Stymie that sworn enemy inside of you and be brave to take on this world.
And if those dark clouds start blurring your vision that you badly want to give up on yourself and on life, remember that lonely flower in that busy street. Amidst the pandemonium, it is surviving and flourishing, scintillating and beautiful. Life isn’t perfect but remember the babies you’ve held on your arms. Their are just starting but they are full of verve, ebullient and magnanimous.
Please don’t you ever dare give up. Life is one heap of mess but beyond that mess is an unspeakable beauty you must search. Life is still beautiful no matter what. You might be down and tears start flowing profusely from your eyes, but find the resolve within to battle through this endless war called life. Because life springs from you, and to live fully, you must vanquish that weakness fettering the chi emanating from your soul. And if your past is hampering you, have the magnanimity enough to forgive yourself and your past.
Lest you forget, beneath the cloud, the sun is still shining.
Your Vital Self
Life is not perfect but try to find the beauty amidst that heap of mess, and you’ll come to understand yourself more.