For years, I stood by the idea of you and me. I lived with the conception that every time I turn around, I’d see you. Not just you you. But you, your soul and the fullness of you. Hope welled from heart, hoping that the tides of time will eventually reverse its course and make you flow toward me.
But I got suck in a whirlpool of emotions, causing me to jump hastily into the oblivion, only to crash down: scathed, broken, sullen, crushed. It was a demoralizing loss. Free falling into the gravel path of loneliness and heartbreaks is not where I envisioned myself to be.
It took years for me to accept that you were just a phantasm, a phantom who stole my heart’s biggest desire. There was a never a you. There was never an I. There was never an us.
And just like every after proverbial downfall, I had to relearn raising my head up high and to ultimately accept what I dearly feared. You have walked out of me. A snap of the wrist and you are gone.
You sent your message loud and clear. And as the dust began to settle, I began to pick up the small pieces of my broken heart and my soul. It wasn’t any fun and it took years for me to rebuild what has been damaged. But if there is one thing it made me learn, it is that above and beyond everyone else, the person I first must learn to love…